Today I have an important question to ask you. Does the critical voice in your head prevent you from loving and accepting yourself?
Over my 30 years of working as an educator and specifically in my work with women during this time, one of the biggest patterns that I see is a lack of self confidence in your abilities.
I constantly hear women saying things like:
“I don’t believe in myself. I constantly doubt myself which hurts because I want to believe in my own judgement”
“I find everything to be very difficult in life. Nothing is easy for me and it seems so easy for others”
“Something hits me emotionally and I just can’t get over it. It ruins my day and I can’t focus on anything else”
“My reaction is always the same. I feel like I have no power and go into that victim place”
“I’m thinking of trying a new career but I’m scared to give it a go because I feel like I don’t belong”
“I’m unhappy with my life. There must be something more to life than this – if there is more, what is it?”
“I know I can do more in life, I just don’t know how to do it.”
I know these stories because this was my life until I learnt how to build my confidence and believe in myself. Let me share a little of my own story.
Growing up in domestic violence, I was a deeply traumatised and abused young woman. I lurched from one crisis to another and become involved in less than ideal relationships as a young woman. Then I had a serious health crisis in my early twenties that changed my life.
On a daily level, I often felt powerless and yet…there was part of me that was searching for “the meaning of life”. I ‘felt’ there had to more to my life than what I’d known, only I didn’t know how to find it!
I was stuck in a negative cycle of abuse and self-doubt, constantly questioning my own self-worth. I knew in my early twenties that if I didn’t move myself off the path I was on, I would forever be trapped in the painful situation in which I found myself.
Once I learnt that I was a victim to my own circumstances (I blamed everyone and everything for what happened in my life) I made the decision to do all that I could to heal those parts of myself. I invested in many therapeutic interventions over the next years, but nothing worked as well as I had hoped.
What I didn’t realise until much later, was that I didn’t have control over the power of my mind. Because of my traumatised past, I was continuously acting out the old stories I carried around with me.
It wasn’t until I learned how to recognise these stories, and where/when I would become caught up in those old webs, that I was truly able to free myself.
To know there are tools and techniques available, that one can use to create a different, improved and a desired reality gave me hope for a life of choice, happiness, and power. A life where I was in control of my own joy.
In doing considerable research into the possibility of creating a new program for women, many of those same stories were repeated.
So I have four questions for you:
- Do you ever doubt yourself and second guess your own judgement?
- Are you aware of how your own negative thoughts cause you to feel stuck and frustrated in life?
- Does the critical voice in your head keep you from loving and accepting yourself?
- Would you like to do something about it?
As I mentioned in the newsletter last month, I’ve been considering putting together a new program. The type of program that will assist you to change the old stories and beliefs, using some of the experiences, growth and learning that I’ve had myself.